Dog Talk
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A guy is driving around the back woods of Tennessee and he
sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house:
"Talking Dog For Sale."

He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog
is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a
nice looking Labrador Retriever sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Yep," the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog speak,
he says, "So, what's your story?"

The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could
talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government,
so I told them. In no time at all they had me jetting from
country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world
leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.
I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years
running.

"But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I
wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I
signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover
security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening
in.

"I uncovered some incredible stuff and was awarded a bunch of
medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just
retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he
wants for the dog.

"Ten dollars," the guy says.

"Ten dollars?! This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you
selling him so cheap?"

"Because he's a liar. He never did any of that stuff."